singlelogbridge | Inbox: Ximilia

[ Fresh off his conversation with Itachi, Wei Wuxian was stuck in Jake's head in a bad way. Fondness mixed with guilt, which then mixed again with unspoken gratitude. Warm oranges, diluted with sour greens, coming together to make the dog feel muddy and brown inside whenever he thought too long about the man he simultaneously considered a brother and a friend.

Jake's preferred method for avoiding guilt was to distract himself, but the boredom of Emerton's empty apartment made that challenging. With a grim sort of determination, he decides to look at that as an opportunity. Time to rip off this band-aid. ]

hey, man. bad time?

[Its a surprise when he sees the username pop up, but one he quickly recovers from. While his heart still gives a little jump in his chest, the safety of the apartment he's sharing with Sizhui and the complete and utter lack of dogs means the fear dies down vey quickly.]

No, I'm not doing anything important. Is everything ok?

[ Their relative lack of communication lately was softened by the artificial time dilation they all experienced. Nobody had been talking as much as usual, these days.

Still, it's hard for Jake -- one of the few Orbers for whom the station was still a recent memory -- to not compare the pace of their communication to what it was on Ciraiwei. Scarcely a day went by without a quick note between them. As much as Jake wanted to believe Finn's injury erased the tension he felt between them, that was just more wishful thinking. ]

yeah no, everything's chill. i was just talking to Itachi, made me think of you. [ Wait, actually-- ] or, i guess, finn did get arrested, but you don't have to worry about that. Itachi's gonna take care of it.

Edited 2023-04-29 21:13 (UTC)

[That gets him to raise an eyebrow and laugh out loud, and the assurance that Itachi is handling it keeps him from worrying. The amusement doesn't last for long though, dulling into something softer and knowing. He and Jake haven't spoken for a while, even with the time apart thanks to the staggered arrivals, and it isn't hard to guess at why he must be contacting him now.]

Alright then, out with it. You want to know where we stand then, don't you? [It's a safe guess to make given his relationship with the man—the dog—prior to the Reveal. And it's one he's been wondering about himself.]

[ Leave it to this man, seemingly infinite in his capacity for kindness, to put a dog out of his misery like that. ]

good guess. :P itachi said you were too honest, bro, he never said you were psychic.

Itachi said I was honest? [Why were they talking about him? Jake, you can't expect him to stay focused when you say things like that!]

I mean I am honest! I'm very honest.

And anyway, the answer is I don't know! [To the question of where they stand.] I've never been friends with a. With. You know!!! It's very confusing!

[ Jake is grateful for the lack of camera, allowing himself to indulge in a laugh over Wei Wuxian's painfully telling preoccupation. These two and their extremely "secret" feelings for each other were as cute as heck, honestly, but Jake was still a dog on a mission. There'd be time enough for teasing later, once Jake knew where they stood.

If he'd know. Unfortunately, Wei Wuxian was about as lost as him. ]

listen, i get it. like, i really do get it. believe it or not, i've been in your shoes before with a friend of mine. it took me like two years to be in the same room with her without lowkey wondering when she was gonna kill me.

like, i knew in my metaphorical heart she wouldn't, but try telling my literal heart that. my pulse was like a drum machine, bro.

Edited 2023-04-29 22:38 (UTC)

[ Jake was about to leave it there, half-forgetting the other reason he was calling. Fortunately (or unfortunately), his thoughts of Marceline turn swiftly and uncomfortably into ones toward a certain ghost... ]

but comisery isn't all i need to offer, man.

i made things worse out there. you were scared, i should've slowed down and sensed that. chasing you was a dumb pup maneuver and i'm genuinely sorry.

[The way Jake describes his experience with his friend is way too similar to Wei Wuxian's feelings on the matter, and he squirms uncomfortably, disliking the feeling of this part of himself being understood. It should be a relief, but he can't help the way it just makes him feel vulnerable.]

Aiya, it's fine, it's fine, we don't have to talk about it! I know it wasn't on purpose now. [And it was probably just like. Dog nature, right?? Ugh, why were dogs like this!]

I can't believe you're a dog! [He groans, and then] I can't believe I'm friends with a dog! [It's a stupid whine as much as it is a reassurance, if Jake can hear it. He might not know where to go from here, but he still counts Jake as a friend.]

[ Even through text, the embarrassment practically jumps off the metaphorical page of his mind. It seems to skirt and shrink away from his apology, all nerves and elbows and every other awkward gesture Finn liked to throw when he was caught between genuinely appreciative and way too vulnerable.

When the thought of Finn comes to him unbidden in parallel with Wei Wuxian, Jake lets out a sigh. I remember when I thought you were like, my age. Good times. ]

believe it, homie. and be glad you're friends with a dog who can be pretty much whatever he wants. Any animals you're chiller with?

just no cats, okay? i've got my dignity.

Not just friends. Brothers, hmm? [It's such a heavy title and one he hasn't spoke of since they'd had that conversation, but it feels appropriate to reference now. To him, family has always been what he'd made of it. Why shouldn't it somehow include a dog? Jiang Cheng would lose his mind if he knew. He's strangle Wei Wuxian and then adopt Jake in his place.]

But what do you mean you can be whatever you want?

[ The reminder sets whatever remaining tension gathered around Jake's hackles aside for good, feeling for the first time since their altercation that not only could they move forward, but that they wouldn't lose a step. ]

Brothers. [ He confirms, laughing to himself. It felt almost superfluous, after everything they'd been through with Finn. The amount of love for that boy tethered together the souls that stood vigil at his bedside. If there was any word at all that suited that feeling, family was surely the one. ] Weird days, man.

[ Weird in so many ways. Weird in ways that Jake would still be sorting out for years. ]

And I mean what I says, man. I guess I'd still technically be... made of dog, but I do some pretty spot on impressions. My chicken is great, my bunny rabbit's pretty good too...

[Since he's allergic to too much sincere emotion, he's just gonna take the out and focus on the rest of that because, what.]

You can turn into a rabbit? I...you shift your form? [Now that they're talking about it, he seems to remember Sabriel saying something about that while he was terrified out of his mind, but he didn't take too much of it in for the aforementioned reason.]

[ Jake blinks, genuinely surprised. There were certainly moments at Finn's beside where he could recall sharing a space with Wei Wuxian, shrunk down small and tucked at the boy's side. He'd been practically out of sight, but not invisible. Couldn't Wei Wuxian see him then...?

Jake was nearly about to ask that very question when he revisits the memory again. Wei Wuxian looked so very angry, that he remembered. Jake could never forget the intensity in his expression as he stared at Finn's face, eyes scanning and rescanning over the boy's injuries.

The more Jake revisits that face, the more confident he is Wei Wuxian didn't see him at all. Likely couldn't have, even if Jake were to shapeshift right in front of his eyes. They simply weren't pointed in his direction. Not then, in that moment.

He sighs, allowing the memory to pass through him again. Jake couldn't linger there too long. It wasn't a pleasant part of his mind to stroll through. ]

man, i'm surprised i haven't shown you this yet. i'm not sure how to explain it without a demonstration, but in short... yeah, i can turn into a rabbit. like, a yellow one, but that still basically counts.

[There is a long pause on Wei Wuxian's end of things, and then he offers—]

Can you turn into a rabbit and then turn on your video? [Please Jake. Please don't give him the nightmare fuel of something dog shaped becoming something rabbit shaped.]

Edited 2023-04-30 07:29 (UTC)

[ Jake The Dog was a lot of things. He was an excellent cook, a reformed thief, a big brother, an eldest son, a father of five, an eldritch anomaly, and a decent knitter.

But he was also a dog. And the thing about being a dog, even after thousands of years of parallel evolution kickstarted by mutagenic radiation, is that dogs cared about humans. It came so easily, that sense of loyalty and desire to help and care for. This human was frightened and needed some reassurance. Jake could give that reassurance. It was a no brainer.

That's the second thing about dogs. No brainer could occasionally be way too accurate a description for Jake's thought processes. ~~Ghost matter, who? Limited power use, whaaa?~~ ]

okay dude, check it--

[ The video leaps to life, revealing a small yellow bunny on a Federation blue sofa. It wasn't a literal transformation; more a sculpture of a rabbit than a real one, made of a deeply unconventional material. Still, the mannerisms were there, the physical twitches and behaviors all came together to an extremely convincing simulation. ]

I spent a lot of time bunny-watching while I was a brick. [ The rabbit-Jake explains, scratching behind his long ear with his equally long back foot as he alludes to a story that is also kind of a long one. ] Gave me a pretty good handle on their vibe.

[At least Jake has the excuse of being a dog. Wei Wuxian just has a shitty memory and has forgotten about their very limited use of powers.

When the video flickers on, Wei Wuxian pauses before checking it out.

And there Jake is, fur the same color as Wei Wuxian had seen, but now distinctly rabbit shaped. Or, rabbit adjacent. Still, he doesn't look like a dog.]

Huh. That's unsettling but still so much better. [Sorry Jake, he doesn't mean to be rude, he just can't handle dogs okay.]

How are you able to do that? I mean...last I checked it's not typical of dogs? [Also] And why were you a brick?

[ Jake's nose twitches in a distinctly rabbit-like fashion, highlighting the unfortunate fact that this particular bunny is kinda jowly. He's an artist, not a photocopier, okay?? ]

Nah, not really. [ He assumes. Maybe Warren exclusively impregnated dogs. Maybe that was how he got his amorphous rocks off. Jake didn't know and would never be able to ask him, so what was the use wondering. ] I'm what ya might call a mix, homie. A real special breed situation. But you could probably guess that just from getting to know me.

Anyway, easy with the questions, man. [ Jake smooths a bunny paw over his bunny ears, as if he was slicking back hair. ] I still haven't asked you my question.

[Wei Wuxian's eyes widen (at all of that) and he fixes the very strange but distinctly rabbit shaped Jake with a look of surprise. A mix. That's actually pretty fascinating. He'd ask more but even if Jake hadn't asked him to slow down, that would probably be crossing some pretty personal lines all things considered given his line of questioning.]

What's your question?

[ It's funny, what lines stay in place, when so many others were obliterated in the wake of a developing friendship. Jake could think of several facts even more personal and intimate that Wei Wuxian already knew about him, and yet this one still felt so... amorphous. Hard to grasp even in his own mind, let alone communicate to someone else.

Maybe that was what made Wei Wuxian taking the bait so readily such a relief. Enough of one that Jake ignores the irony of calling out the other man's probing before immediately
asking: ]

What's the story with you and dogs, bro? [ Jake pauses only a moment before continuing. ] Like, you don't gotta tell me, I guess I just feel like I gotta hear what happened in order to apologize on behalf of my species. [ He rubs the back of one of his long ears, pulling a considering expression. ] Kind of a weird impulse, huh?

[ The dog-bunny's tone isn't exactly apologetic; more musing. Even philosophical, maybe. It shouldn't be a surprise, how easily the two men fall into that. It was the foundation for their fast friendship, after all. ]

Edited 2023-06-27 04:57 (UTC)

[The expression change is immediate and significant, the playful curiosity fading into discomfort as he brings a hand up to rub a finger across the bridge of his nose.]

Ah...that. [It's clear it's not something he enjoys talking about and he goes silent again for a bit, before eventually sighing. If there's anyone who has a right to know, it's Jake.]

Well, hmm. There was a time when I was young when I was on my own, living on the streets. [It doesn't bother him to admit as much, that was the way of the world sometimes is all.] It wasn't so bad really, but ah...sometimes it was difficult to find food.

And there were street dogs that would come after whatever I had. It's...don't apologize for that, it would be weird. [Jake wasn't one of the dogs snapping at him and taking bites out of him in an effort to steal his meal, and anyway, in a deep deep rational part of his mind, even Wei Wuxian knows that the dogs were just hungry. (That deep rational part of his mind is simply much quieter than the rest of it that remembers what running from a hungry dog was like.)]

[ The occasional twitches of the nose and ears fade into a stillness as Jake listens, the verisimilitude of his impression falling by the wayside in favor of keeping his attention centered on Wei Wuxian. It's a private moment he's being invited in on, that much is obvious even before he asks the question.

A small boy, hungry and desperate for food, having to fight for it alone against dogs that should have known better than to pick on someone so small. Jake could remember more than a few hungry nights back in that hazy period between leaving his gang and Finn growing old enough to hold a sword without falling over.

Finn wouldn't remember them, though. Unlike the heartbreaking story Wei Wuxian shared, that little boy had a dog who always made sure he ate first. ]

You're right, it would be kinda weird. [ He says, punctuating the gentle sentiment with a deep breath. ] That stuff from your childhood, it sticks to you. Finny couldn't go near an ocean without having a panic attack for the longest time, and he didn't even remember why.

[ Another breath, warmed with a smile this time. ]

World isn't always kind to little ones. You knowing that first hand, it's probably what makes you so great with 'em. Your son's a lucky kid, Wei Wuxian.

[ Jake is certain that, despite the disparate courses of their lives chartered in startlingly different worlds, Sizhui always ate first too. ]

[It's the right way to transition the topic and it shows in the way his face immediately softens, eyes flickering to the side as if expecting Sizhui to walk in at any moment. He's in the kitchen cooking—he can hear him from here—and just the reminder of his presence eases most of his tensions away.]

He had harder times than I ever did even before we met. That kid's been through hell but...after I met him, I did my best to make it easier on him. He was too young to understand how bad we had it and everyone did their part for him. [He wasn't the only one that like Jake would forego what little food they had to make sure their little a-Yuan didn't go to sleep hungry.]

Anyway, he ended up somewhere better. Somewhere he didn't have to worry about anything like that ever again.

[ It's hard to know where to interject in a retelling of someone else's own life. The thought of a child alone and uncared for on the street, struggling to survive and fighting off dogs for what little food he could find, hardly seemed like the kind of childhood that paled in comparison to another. At least, no childhood Jake cared to even attempt imagining.

Which is why he doesn't dispute the claim, no matter how strongly he feels drawn to do so. Because at the end of the day, the limits of a dog's imagination didn't mean much of anything measured against the world of human cruelty. ]

I remember you saying so. [ Jake mentions, carefully, recalling back to one of their first conversations. There's a smile in his tone as he recollects it, however muted it may be by the persistent image of Wei Wuxian's own childhood stuck in Jake's mind. ] How's it feel, having him back again all grown up?

[How does it feel? Wei Wuxian dips his head and closes his eyes, shaking his head once as a smile pulls at his lips.]

Incredible. The terms we parted on were...[He grimaces.] When I arrived here, I was under the impression he didn't make it. But there was a man here at that time from my world, Zewu-jun. The Orbers called him Lan Xichen. [A liberty he never felt comfortable taking.] He left shortly before your arrival. Anyway, Zewu-jun let me know that he was rescued from that bad situation and had grown happy and healthy to adulthood.

It was enough just knowing. I never expected to meet him. [His eyes shine brightly up at Jake, and his smile is impossibly soft and impossibly fond.]

Every day with him here is a gift.

Edited 2023-07-06 04:19 (UTC)

Inbox: Ximilia

text; from emerton's quarters

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