[ Wei Ying asleep is a treat that Lan Zhan avoids like a man with a chocolate addiction and diabetes. He loves it - for Wei Ying never has had enough sleep the night before - but he should not have it. This is because, in his mind, it will either enable him to watch Wei Ying sleep with enough focus to be considered 'creepy', or it will make Lan Zhan die slowly from how cute it is, how much Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying and the chest cracking pain of knowing he can never be his.
But he does manage to pass the time unmoving, occasionally stroking his fingers through Wei Ying's hair and down his back. He did it without thinking and it was so soft he had to do it again immediately. He has become unable to stop. When the precious bundle in his lap starts making movements, he makes an enquiring hum in the back of his throat.
When Wei Ying leans back to start to sit up, Lan Zhan reaches up with his now free hand and presses it to Wei Ying's forehead. His temperature is cooler than it was, thanks to the medicine, but still higher than Lan Zhan would like. He responds to the most precious person in his life.]
[Were he in his complete right mind, even Wei Ying might have enough shame to feel bad for taking advantage of Lan Zhan like this. As it is though, his fever provides just enough disorientation that he can't summon the will to care, not when he feels so good with Lan Zhan's arms around him and Lan Zhan's soft voice soothing him.]
Better with you here. [He says, more sincerely than normal Wei Ying ever would have. It's the truth though and right now he can find no reason not to say it. Though he supposes Lan Zhan might like a more thorough answer.]
Head isn't as fuzzy. Chest doesn't hurt as much. [He reaches up for the hand at his forehead, pulling it further down so that he can nuzzle his cheek into it instead.]
[ Watching Wei Ying be so unguarded, so trusting when he is vulnerable makes Lan Zhan feel like he could conquer the earth to be worthy of it. He has to swallow a lump in his throat. ]
Mn. Happy to be here.
[ He listens to Wei Ying talk about his symptoms even as he prepares to make his own assessments. He is about to feel for any sweat from the fever, he can already use the sensation of Wei Ying pressed against him to feel if his lungs are clear. He is stymied by the hand that reaches up and captures his own.
Lan Zhan nearly squeaks. ]
Wei Ying is softer.
[ He cannot stop his treacherous thumb from stroking across a cheekbone, feel the soft skin under it and burning it into his memory. ]
[Wei Ying hums softly, lips pulling up into a hazy smile.]
Mmhmm. Think so. [His appetite hasn't been consistent, but it's been a while since he's had anything, let alone anything that would actually be considered a meal. He doesn't actually feel too hungry, but he has to figure he must be. Plus, if it means Lan Zhan will stay a bit longer, he'll readily agree to pretty much anything.
With a soft reluctant sigh, he pulls away from Lan Zhan until he's fully sitting up on his own and setting his feet on the floor, not yet standing, but far closer to getting there.]
How long did I sleep, Lan Zhan? Aren't I keeping you from things?
[ The hum is adorable and Lan Zhan is annoyed by how much brain power it takes for him to concentrate and listen rather than revel in the scrunched nose and watery eyes it produces. ]
Perhaps something light. I have crackers or soup.
[ The loss of body contact makes him visibly frown for a second before he manages to get it back under wraps. He turns and sits next to Wei Ying on the edge of the bed, then stands and dusts off his trousers. He turns back to the slumped figure and judges his pyjamas inadequate. Lan Zhan strides across the room to the wardrobe hanging open, he looks but does not find any clean jumpers so he unthinkingly grabs his own and comes back to Wei Ying with it. ]
You slept for an hour, you needed the rest.
[ With the air of a flustered man who does not want to admit how long he would have stayed in the same place if Wei Ying needed him to, Lan Zhan rolls up the jumper and pops it over Wei Ying's head. He tugs it down and when it is settled, offers a hand to Wei Ying. ]
There is nothing more important that Wei Ying right now. Come.
[Lan Zhan moves to his wardrobe and Wei Ying's eyes follow his movement with curiosity. Upon realizing what he's doing when he approaches with his own jumper, Wei Ying has just opened his mouth to protest when he feels the jumper coming down over his head. With Lan Zhan's help, he pulls his head and arms through, though when he surfaces, his cheeks are bright red and he lets out a quiet nervous laugh.]
L-Lan Zhan! [The whine dies on his lips and he raises a hand to scratch at his nose, feeling stupidly pleased as the familiar scent of sandalwood drifts up to encompass him. Lan Zhan isn't too much bigger than him, but there's enough of a size difference that the sleeves reach the middle of his palms, and one side of the collar gapes open to reveal a sliver of pajama shirt and skin.]
See? Too good to me. [It comes out a mutter and he quickly reaches for his hand, rising far too quickly for someone who hasn't been on his feet almost at all for far too many hours. Blood rushes to his head and he sways into Lan Zhan's side, closing his eyes to shut out the sudden dizzy spell.]
[ Wei Ying's red cheeks threaten his fragmented composure and he has to fight a smile, he manages to keep it contained to just his eyes. He could potentially never ask for anything again now he has witnessed Wei Ying, sleep rumpled and fluffy, tucked into his larger jumper. His fingers stick out the too long sleeves and he has to clench his fist in repressed delight. ]
Wei Ying. I am at least doing what you deserve.
[ Wei Ying stands and totters, Lan Zhan's heart leaps into his mouth as he props him up. ]
Wei Ying!
[ He wraps an arm around him to hold him close, to minimise the risk and then looks searchingly at his face. ]
Are you alright?
[ Taking a risky but decisive course of action, Lan Zhan scoops Wei Ying to his chest. He is burning with embarrassment, knowing that Wei Ying is unwell and this is almost self serving, but only his ears show it by glowing that fabulous red. He supports Wei Ying as best he can as they shuffle to the living room, plopping his precious cargo on the sofa and grabbing a rug to bundle him up in. ]
[Letting out a startled sound as he suddenly finds himself pressed close to Lan Zhan's chest, Wei Ying relaxes almost immediately after, laughing under his breath at his own useless limbs. It isn't the easiest thing to shuffle into the living room that way, but he doesn't feel like he's going to fall and he's hardly going to protest the warmth of Lan Zhan all around him.
Once he's sitting, he tugs the throw that Lan Zhan wraps around him tighter over his shoulders and fixes his friend with a wobbly smile.]
Ah...I really am a useless mess right now, aren't I? [He chuckles again and relaxes into the couch cushions.]
[ Lan Zhan's heart wrenches in his chest as Wei Ying speaks, kneeling in front of him and tucking the blanket more securely, he speaks gently but firmly. ]
Not useless. Sick. You have been working very hard, you are allowed to rest. It is no imposition to me to help you.
[ Afraid he has revealed too much Lan Zhan hurries to the kitchen; the soup is in a small Tupperware that he pries open and pours into a saucepan. He had made it last night beforehand for his own lunches, but not trusting Wei Ying to have any of the essentials he had immediately brought it over instead. ]
It is not chicken and noodle, or pork rib and lotus, but I hope this will suffice.
[ The soup comes to simmer while he opens the cupboard for a plate and bowl, tipping some of the crackers from the packet he brought onto the plate in an artful fashion. He tips the soup into the bowl, grabs a spoon and bring it over on a tray with the crackers. ]
It is mulligatawny soup. Very healthy, it will help you get the vitamins you need to feel better. Do you want a hot or cold drink?
[By the time Lan Zhan returns, Wei Ying is smiling warmly in his direction, eyes flickering between the soup and crackers and then back up to Lan Zhan's face with what can only be named affection. He swallows over a lump in his throat and makes room for the tray, still smiling up at his friend.]
Um, hot tea is fine. And this will more than suffice, Lan Zhan. You brought it over for me after all. [Even if it's terrible, even if it's so bland he'd normally whine, it is obviously perfect because Lan Zhan brought it for him. Glancing down at the soup finally and dragging his eyes away from Lan Zhan, he finds himself blinking with surprise.]
Did you make this? [It's a silly question, of course he did. Wei Ying groans and hides his face in his hands, feeling heat rise into his cheeks that has nothing to do with fever.] You're killing me, Lan Zhan. How am I supposed to survive this?
[ Lan Zhan watches Wei Ying settle and inspect his offerings, he is pleased to provide for Wei Ying. It satisfies a small part of himself he does not name under the light of day. ]
You are more than welcome.
[ He visibly colours a little when he is questioned about the soup, how can he phrase this without completely exposing himself and all his secrets? ]
I was... experimenting. It is a new recipe, when I discovered the spices I thought you may like to try it. I would have given it to you at work for lunch when you forgot. I did make it without the chicken, apologies.
[ His face softens when Wei Ying collapses into the sofa, tempted to kneel down and take his face in his hands and beam love and self worth directly into Wei Ying's skull. As it is he half smiles instead. ]
You will live, I will ensure it. Eat the soup, Wei Ying.
[ He turns before Wei Ying can see the softness in his eyes, the adoration on his face. He goes and boils the kettle, picking out a ginger and lemon herbal tea that he adds a spoonful of honey to. He makes a different herbal tea for himself as he does so, but with far less love and care. None of this comes from Wei Ying's kitchen, he brought it in the 'Wei Ying is sick' frenzy pack and shop on the way over. He did not expect Wei Ying to have half of what he needed, especially with Lan Zhan's high (aka not discounted or out of date) standards.
Once the tea is brewed for exactly two minutes he takes out the tea bag, grasps the mugs by the handle and walks back to Wei Ying. He puts his own down on Wei Ying's attempt at a coffee table which is really more a crate turned on it's side next to one end of the sofa. Then, he kneels in front of Wei Ying and holds the tea. He blows on it once, twice, before putting it on the tray. ]
[The explanation does nothing to settle Wei Ying, instead only furthering the heat he feels gathering in his cheeks. Lan Zhan is always sweet to him and always looking out for his well being when Wei Ying forgets. He reminds him to eat, even going so far as to send texts during those weeks when he knows Wei Ying's schedule is ridiculously overloaded, always asks after his sleep, and has made it a routine of shoving water bottles at him on a regular basis.
The care Lan Zhan takes with him isn't new. Lan Zhan has perhaps not had as much opportunity as Wei Ying's illness is currently affording him to dote on his friend, but it isn't exactly surprising. (Even though it is, because it always is, because Wei Ying will never understand why when he is just...Wei Ying. Disappointing, never good enough, burdensome Wei Ying.)
That Lan Zhan was experimenting with this soup prior to his illness because he thought Wei Ying would like it is enough to nearly do him in by itself. The nap and the cuddling, the sandalwood scented sweater, the soup and the spices. It's all too much.
But for some reason it is none of that. In the end, it's the casually given instruction. "Be careful, it's hot." Maybe it's the simple domesticity of it. The casual delivery, as if this is routine—as if it could be.
A lump forms in his throat and he feels his eyes stinging, so he quickly takes a spoonful of the soup and shoves it into his mouth before he can say something stupid like 'did you know I love you, Lan Zhan?' or 'please stop being so kind, I'll wear out my welcome so much faster this way.'
Instead, he swallows over the lump and the soup, smiling around another spoonful and waiting until the ache in his throat has vanished before he speaks.]
[ Lan Zhan feels his heart melt into a little puddle of goo and love when Wei Ying immediately stuffs his face like a hamster. He smiles up at him and lets himself stay kneeling until Wei Ying speaks, as a small treat. His heart flipflops at the declaration of love at the soup and for a split irrational second he is consumed with jealousy. Then it subsides into the strange desire to spoon feed it too Wei Ying instead. ]
Mn. Good. Eat slowly, do not worry about finishing the whole bowl, only what you can.
[ He swallows down the words crowding on his tongue, _do not worry, I am here and I love you,_ stands and then settles with his own tea next to Wei Ying on the couch. This is as close as he normally gets and he scolds himself for wishing they were back in bed, entwined together. ]
I have medication for when you are finished.
[ He fumbles a little now, comfortable in the silence and scraping of the spoon, but knows Wei Ying typically is not. ]
Do you wish to watch anything while you eat? Or are you too tired?
[While Lan Zhan still has his composure and wits about him, Wei Ying has no such obstacles in his way, and the moment Lan Zhan has settled, he adjusts himself so that he's snuggled into Lan Zhan's side, only facing forward still so that he can continue to eat. Despite the still low fever, his mind is clear enough that he knows exactly what he's doing, but if Lan Zhan should ask it's an easy enough excuse to give.
When he has finished readjusting, he peers at Lan Zhan with a tilt of his head, cheeks lightly flushed but smile unrepentant.]
For the cold. [He returns to his soup and takes several more spoonfuls before answering the question.]
I couldn't focus on watching anything right now. [His eyes twinkle when he focuses them on his friend, one eyebrow lifting in a tease.] Is this your way of trying to get me not to speak while we eat?
[It isn't, he knows. Lan Zhan has long given up that fight, but it's too fun to tease.]
[ Wei Ying snuggles into his side and Lan Zhan feels his heart speed up. The smile beamed up at him makes it stop and then start again, like a stutter. He is so in love with this man.
Lan Zhan does not initiate physical contact, if only because he worries that if he does he will never stop, revealing far too much before he knows it will be well received. He cannot stop himself from gently tipping his head so it rests on Wei Ying's while he eats the soup with contented little hums. ]
Mn. [ He scoffs at the idea. ] Would not silence Wei Ying, only concerned you would be bored.
[ He straightens, the allotted time he allows himself to be so close has passed. He takes a sip of his tea, then gently pushes Wei Ying upright so he can put the arm closest along the back of the couch. He softly tips Wei Ying back into his side, making it more comfortable for both of them. ]
[Sighing contentedly, Wei Ying leans happily into Lan Zhan's side, letting his eyes close for a moment in between mouthfuls of soup to simply revel in the feeling. He hates being sick with every fiber of his being, hates the way he becomes weak and useless, burdensome to those around him, but he can't pretend not to be enjoying Lan Zhan's care.]
No more sleeping. [He grouses, brow furrowing and then softening again in resignation.] At least not yet.
I'm gross. [It's a whine and he sighs, pouting.] After food, I'd like to shower. I can...if I sit, it'll be fine. [Probably.]
[ The content little hums, the happy sighs, all of it on any other day would render Lan Zhan horribly horny in mind and dick. However the knowledge that Wei Ying is ill, makes all of that compress down to melt under feeling pleased that he is making Wei Ying happy instead. He is unbearably smug but the only one who would know is his brother, so he does not care very much. ]
Okay, I will keep you awake.
[ He sips his tea and tries to memorise how close they are, the warmth pressed to his side. Then Wei Ying continues and truly tests his many years honed straight face. ]
Mn. Showering will be beneficial.
[ Yes... That is an appropriate response. He then actually mulls over the problem. ]
[Wei Ying has definitely had dreams where Lan Zhan has made that offer, but none of them had involved his sinuses being congested, having a fever, and being generally incredibly gross. Life is so unfair.]
Um. [He hopes the flush on his cheeks is mistaken for fever. Actually, it probably is from the fever at least a little.]
I could probably use some help with my hair...are you sure you don't mind? That's a lot of work, Lan Zhan. You don't have to spoil me so much. [Even if he did offer, it feels like taking advantage to accept.]
[ Wei Ying is still noticeably pink, it makes Lan Zhan worry a little more about if he can stand for a shower, perhaps a bath would be better? Lan Zhan leans over and presses the back of his hand to Wei Ying's forehead.]
Mn. I offered, I meant it. I am happy to help.
[ He half smiles at the idea that Wei Ying is not already spoiled, but it is his secret ambition to make sure Wei Ying stays that way. He deserves the world and Lan Zhan would give it to him just to see him smile. ]
It is not spoiling, you are sick. You deserve to be treated well. When you are done we can come back to the sofa or go to bed with the laptop.
[Ah, his cheeks are definitely pink then. He wills his forehead to get hot to throw Lan Zhan off the scent but isn't quite sure if it works. It probably does not on account of willpower not being a super effective tool at changing body temperature. Whatever the result, Lan Zhan doesn't call him out on his blush at least.
He gets distracted by Lan Zhan's response a moment later, huffing quietly and shaking his head, a gentle smile on his lips.]
I'll sound like a broken record but you really are too good to me, you know that? [He finishes eating in companionable silence and then sets his bowl aside. On a good day, he would take the dishes to the sink knowing that if he left them unattended, Lan Zhan was liable to clean them for him, but today he lets that battle go, acquiescing to his illness. With his food and tea finished, he reluctantly pulls away from Lan Zhan, cringing at the way his formerly fever humid skin wants to stick to Lan Zhan and rising on shaky feet.
Now that he's lucid enough to pay attention, he really does feel in desperate need of a wash. He hadn't had the energy to wash his hair in...a while, and he's sure he'd had fever sweats off and on over the last day or so.
Still the thought of taking a shower sounds exhausting and he resigns himself to needing Lan Zhan's help. Although, he's not exactly sure what that entails and he immediately rejects the images his terrible traitor brain wants to conjure.]
Uh, if you're really sure, I'm gonna go grab a towel and stuff and you can meet me in the bathroom.
[ Wei Ying feels the same as he did before he took his medicine, hot with a side of clammy but not as hot as he was before. He listens to Wei Ying, while straightening his clothes purely so as to have an excuse to touch him. ]
Hm. I am just as good to you as you are to me. [ His ears are a little pink, but he is steadfast. If Wei Ying insists that he is worth it then he will return the favour. When Wei Ying finishes his dinner, Lan Zhan is slightly smug to see he hasn't left any of it, he needs all the strength he can get. A tiny part of him itches to immediately deposit them in the kitchen, but it is drowned out by the louder part of him whining about being apart from Wei Ying as he stands. Even if it is only a few feet.
Wei Ying sways only a little when he stands, so Lan Zhan rises behind him but does not hold him up. He wants Wei Ying to feel as self sufficient and un-suffocated as possible, but in the safest way, so hovering a little it is.
Wei Ying pauses as he wobbles and despite the hair stuck to his brow, the crumpled clothes and the faint smell of sweat, he is still resplendent in Lan Zhan's eyes. When Wei Ying agrees to his offer, Lan Zhan is surprised but committed. He offered and will follow through. ]
Understood, I will see you there.
[ He watches Wei Ying toddle away, and rushes over to the bathroom. He grabs a clean towel for himself as he is sure to need it, even if he wasn't intending on getting in the shower. He then has a small crisis about how to wash Wei Ying and be polite at the same time. How can he not intrude on Wei Ying's privacy is no small matter, so he turns on the shower to let it warm up and whips out his phone; frantically googling for any possible solution.
Ignoring the rather odd porn suggestions he comes across an idea. He cannot execute it in full, as he does have all the equipment but...
By the time Wei Ying returns, Lan Zhan is standing next to the shower with some very nice new shower gel and conditioner, clad only in some tight fitting black boxer briefs. He looks up at the door opening, somehow maintaining a poker face as he speaks.]
Wei Ying. The water is to temperature, I will turn away while you get in.
[Grabbing a clean set of clothes and a towel doesn't take nearly as long as he'd have liked, and before he knows it, Wei Ying is returning to the bathroom without having had nearly enough time to internally panic. That's probably for the best though. It's fine, they're both guys. This isn't weird, right?]
Ah, thanks. [He discards his shirt, and after only a moment of hesitancy, his pants and briefs as well, as he focuses very carefully on not thinking about being naked in front of Lan Zhan. It's not weird unless he makes it weird and he is determined not to make it weird.
He only wobbles a little as he steps inside of the shower, immediately sighing in relief as the warm but not too hot water runs over his skin.]
[ This isn't weird. If only because Lan Zhan refuses to make it weird. The second he sees Wei Ying reach for his waistband he turns, ears burning at the soft thump of clothes and the pit pat of bare feet into the guttering of the shower.
He turns back and follows, eyes resolutely kept on the side of Wei Ying's head. He steps into the water behind him, catching only a little of the spray as he draws the curtain.
He doesn't want to overstep, but he reaches forward and tugs Wei Ying so his back rests at least a little on his chest. ]
In case you get dizzy, please lean on me.
[ Lan Zhan adjusts the head of the shower and makes sure to wet Wei Ying's hair, covering his face from the water and then uses the closest hand to grab the shampoo, reaching around Wei Ying to lather it in his palms. ]
Tell me if I pull.
[ He massages the shampoo into soft bubbles and makes sure to cover every inch, then tips Wei Ying's head forward for the rinse. He's managed to not stare at anything, especially as Wei Ying is still too warm to the touch. He starts again with the conditioner, trying to be gentle but thorough. ]
Are you able to wash yourself or do you need assistance?
[Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't for Lan Zhan to get into the shower with him, and he's glad Lan Zhan is at his back because it means he misses his face going from normal to cherry tomato red in about half a second flat. He's pretty sure Lan Zhan said something at some point, but he misses it over the sudden loudness of blood rushing past his ears and his heart beating too fast and too loud.
Lan Zhan is in the shower with him. Lan Zhan is (presumably) wet. He's wet and he's in the shower with him and he can feel his chest (yep, wet, it's definitely wet) against his back and it would be so easy for Wei Ying to press back, so easy for Lan Zhan to push forward, all slick wet skin and strong muscle, it would be nothing for him to hold Wei Ying against the shower wall, to lick along his shoulder and bite into his neck and—
Oh fuck, he's getting hard.
Lan Zhan said something again, and this time the words aren't completely subsumed by his (fevered) horny panic. 'Do you need assistance?'
Letting out a soft strangled sound, he's quick to shake his head, noting the way it makes Lan Zhan's hands still tangled in his hair tug lightly at his scalp. (He's going to die.) With a gargantuan effort, he forces himself to think of Auntie Yu glaring at him, and Lan Zhan's uncle glaring at him, and both of them glaring at him at the same time (oh wow, that's way too effective, that needs to never ever happen.) Somehow, he gets himself under control.]
N-no, I can do that part! [The words come out too high pitched and he laughs, nervous, stepping forward because he's going to die if their skin keeps pressing together.
Only, he's maybe not as okay as he thought because the moment he loses Lan Zhan's support, a wave of dizziness crashes over him, stripping all other thought and coherence away as he feels himself falling, legs giving out after having been standing for longer than he's stood in two days. Oh...oh that's...not good.]
[ If Wei Ying is uncomfortable, he hides it very well from Lan Zhan, who is far too busy keeping this as platonic as washing the man you've been in love with for years can be. Wei Ying may be a little tense, but that can be put down to trying to remain upright and feeling miserable.
Well. Up until he makes a noise that startles Lan Zhan out of his stupor and starts wiggling his head like a ball and spring on a car dashboard. When he speaks it's very obvious he is very tired and sick, sounding raspy and high pitched. Then Wei Ying takes a step forward and the cold rushes in where his body was for a split second, before he visible crumples and starts tipping over like a felled tree. ]
Wei Ying!
[ Lan Zhan does not shout, but it's close. He frantically drops the bottle of shower gel he was about to offer and dives, scooping him back into his arms as best as he can. The shower is not designed for this kind of horseplay and they both slip further down until Lan Zhan gets a good grip on the shower tap. They pause there for a moment, tangled together like a pair of headphones in a jean pocket.
Wei Ying has fallen most of the way onto his knees, pressed to Lan Zhan's chest who has wrapped an arm under one armpit and around with the grip of a very angry octopus. Lan Zhan has refused to let them fall by landing in a weird kneel, one knee banged into the floor so hard it tingles and the other leg in front, pressed to Wei Ying's side with the foot wedged into the corner up against the tile. The hand on the shower tap is the only reason no one fell out and got a concussion or another head injury. ]
Wei Ying?
[ Lan Zhan repeats himself, but softer, adrenaline calming down to a manageable whirr and not a fire siren screaming to save Wei Ying. ]
Don't move, let me help you?
[ He isn't really asking as he gives in to the urge to wrap even more firmly around Wei Ying and lift him bodily off the floor as they rise. He manages to brace himself upright and ease Wei Ying into the crook of one elbow, risking the hand pressed to the shower to check his temperature.]
You are very warm, we will get you dressed.
[ He checks he has rinsed all the stuff out of Wei Ying's hair and then turns off the shower, stepping into the cooler bathroom. He plonks Wei Ying down on the toilet and wraps him in the biggest, fluffiest towel and keeps a hand near Wei Ying's shoulder should he start to list.
Once wrapped, Lan Zhan looks Wei Ying up and down, noting the flush and the shivering, the head tilting between listening for whatever Lan Zhan has to say. He makes the executive decision to scoop the now only damp Wei Ying into his bedroom.
He starts gathering clean clothes from strange places, such as his clean laundry dictates so he is used to small shivering wet things that won't even bark back. Like this Wei Ying is... small.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
*bows* I can be the softest boy
He loves it - for Wei Ying never has had enough sleep the night before - but he should not have it. This is because, in his mind, it will either enable him to watch Wei Ying sleep with enough focus to be considered 'creepy', or it will make Lan Zhan die slowly from how cute it is, how much Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying and the chest cracking pain of knowing he can never be his.
But he does manage to pass the time unmoving, occasionally stroking his fingers through Wei Ying's hair and down his back. He did it without thinking and it was so soft he had to do it again immediately. He has become unable to stop. When the precious bundle in his lap starts making movements, he makes an enquiring hum in the back of his throat.
When Wei Ying leans back to start to sit up, Lan Zhan reaches up with his now free hand and presses it to Wei Ying's forehead. His temperature is cooler than it was, thanks to the medicine, but still higher than Lan Zhan would like. He responds to the most precious person in his life.]
Hello Wei Ying.
[ He half smiles. ]
How are you feeling?
no subject
Better with you here. [He says, more sincerely than normal Wei Ying ever would have. It's the truth though and right now he can find no reason not to say it. Though he supposes Lan Zhan might like a more thorough answer.]
Head isn't as fuzzy. Chest doesn't hurt as much. [He reaches up for the hand at his forehead, pulling it further down so that he can nuzzle his cheek into it instead.]
Lan Zhan is soft.
no subject
Mn. Happy to be here.
[ He listens to Wei Ying talk about his symptoms even as he prepares to make his own assessments. He is about to feel for any sweat from the fever, he can already use the sensation of Wei Ying pressed against him to feel if his lungs are clear. He is stymied by the hand that reaches up and captures his own.
Lan Zhan nearly squeaks. ]
Wei Ying is softer.
[ He cannot stop his treacherous thumb from stroking across a cheekbone, feel the soft skin under it and burning it into his memory. ]
Are you hungry?
no subject
Mmhmm. Think so. [His appetite hasn't been consistent, but it's been a while since he's had anything, let alone anything that would actually be considered a meal. He doesn't actually feel too hungry, but he has to figure he must be. Plus, if it means Lan Zhan will stay a bit longer, he'll readily agree to pretty much anything.
With a soft reluctant sigh, he pulls away from Lan Zhan until he's fully sitting up on his own and setting his feet on the floor, not yet standing, but far closer to getting there.]
How long did I sleep, Lan Zhan? Aren't I keeping you from things?
no subject
Perhaps something light. I have crackers or soup.
[ The loss of body contact makes him visibly frown for a second before he manages to get it back under wraps. He turns and sits next to Wei Ying on the edge of the bed, then stands and dusts off his trousers. He turns back to the slumped figure and judges his pyjamas inadequate. Lan Zhan strides across the room to the wardrobe hanging open, he looks but does not find any clean jumpers so he unthinkingly grabs his own and comes back to Wei Ying with it. ]
You slept for an hour, you needed the rest.
[ With the air of a flustered man who does not want to admit how long he would have stayed in the same place if Wei Ying needed him to, Lan Zhan rolls up the jumper and pops it over Wei Ying's head. He tugs it down and when it is settled, offers a hand to Wei Ying. ]
There is nothing more important that Wei Ying right now. Come.
no subject
L-Lan Zhan! [The whine dies on his lips and he raises a hand to scratch at his nose, feeling stupidly pleased as the familiar scent of sandalwood drifts up to encompass him. Lan Zhan isn't too much bigger than him, but there's enough of a size difference that the sleeves reach the middle of his palms, and one side of the collar gapes open to reveal a sliver of pajama shirt and skin.]
See? Too good to me. [It comes out a mutter and he quickly reaches for his hand, rising far too quickly for someone who hasn't been on his feet almost at all for far too many hours. Blood rushes to his head and he sways into Lan Zhan's side, closing his eyes to shut out the sudden dizzy spell.]
no subject
Wei Ying. I am at least doing what you deserve.
[ Wei Ying stands and totters, Lan Zhan's heart leaps into his mouth as he props him up. ]
Wei Ying!
[ He wraps an arm around him to hold him close, to minimise the risk and then looks searchingly at his face. ]
Are you alright?
[ Taking a risky but decisive course of action, Lan Zhan scoops Wei Ying to his chest. He is burning with embarrassment, knowing that Wei Ying is unwell and this is almost self serving, but only his ears show it by glowing that fabulous red. He supports Wei Ying as best he can as they shuffle to the living room, plopping his precious cargo on the sofa and grabbing a rug to bundle him up in. ]
Wait here, I will bring your food.
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Once he's sitting, he tugs the throw that Lan Zhan wraps around him tighter over his shoulders and fixes his friend with a wobbly smile.]
Ah...I really am a useless mess right now, aren't I? [He chuckles again and relaxes into the couch cushions.]
I'll wait here. [Pause.] Thanks Lan Zhan.
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Not useless. Sick. You have been working very hard, you are allowed to rest. It is no imposition to me to help you.
[ Afraid he has revealed too much Lan Zhan hurries to the kitchen; the soup is in a small Tupperware that he pries open and pours into a saucepan. He had made it last night beforehand for his own lunches, but not trusting Wei Ying to have any of the essentials he had immediately brought it over instead. ]
It is not chicken and noodle, or pork rib and lotus, but I hope this will suffice.
[ The soup comes to simmer while he opens the cupboard for a plate and bowl, tipping some of the crackers from the packet he brought onto the plate in an artful fashion. He tips the soup into the bowl, grabs a spoon and bring it over on a tray with the crackers. ]
It is mulligatawny soup. Very healthy, it will help you get the vitamins you need to feel better. Do you want a hot or cold drink?
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Um, hot tea is fine. And this will more than suffice, Lan Zhan. You brought it over for me after all. [Even if it's terrible, even if it's so bland he'd normally whine, it is obviously perfect because Lan Zhan brought it for him. Glancing down at the soup finally and dragging his eyes away from Lan Zhan, he finds himself blinking with surprise.]
Did you make this? [It's a silly question, of course he did. Wei Ying groans and hides his face in his hands, feeling heat rise into his cheeks that has nothing to do with fever.] You're killing me, Lan Zhan. How am I supposed to survive this?
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You are more than welcome.
[ He visibly colours a little when he is questioned about the soup, how can he phrase this without completely exposing himself and all his secrets? ]
I was... experimenting. It is a new recipe, when I discovered the spices I thought you may like to try it. I would have given it to you at work for lunch when you forgot. I did make it without the chicken, apologies.
[ His face softens when Wei Ying collapses into the sofa, tempted to kneel down and take his face in his hands and beam love and self worth directly into Wei Ying's skull. As it is he half smiles instead. ]
You will live, I will ensure it. Eat the soup, Wei Ying.
[ He turns before Wei Ying can see the softness in his eyes, the adoration on his face. He goes and boils the kettle, picking out a ginger and lemon herbal tea that he adds a spoonful of honey to. He makes a different herbal tea for himself as he does so, but with far less love and care. None of this comes from Wei Ying's kitchen, he brought it in the 'Wei Ying is sick' frenzy pack and shop on the way over. He did not expect Wei Ying to have half of what he needed, especially with Lan Zhan's high (aka not discounted or out of date) standards.
Once the tea is brewed for exactly two minutes he takes out the tea bag, grasps the mugs by the handle and walks back to Wei Ying. He puts his own down on Wei Ying's attempt at a coffee table which is really more a crate turned on it's side next to one end of the sofa. Then, he kneels in front of Wei Ying and holds the tea. He blows on it once, twice, before putting it on the tray. ]
Be careful, it is hot.
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The care Lan Zhan takes with him isn't new. Lan Zhan has perhaps not had as much opportunity as Wei Ying's illness is currently affording him to dote on his friend, but it isn't exactly surprising. (Even though it is, because it always is, because Wei Ying will never understand why when he is just...Wei Ying. Disappointing, never good enough, burdensome Wei Ying.)
That Lan Zhan was experimenting with this soup prior to his illness because he thought Wei Ying would like it is enough to nearly do him in by itself. The nap and the cuddling, the sandalwood scented sweater, the soup and the spices. It's all too much.
But for some reason it is none of that. In the end, it's the casually given instruction. "Be careful, it's hot." Maybe it's the simple domesticity of it. The casual delivery, as if this is routine—as if it could be.
A lump forms in his throat and he feels his eyes stinging, so he quickly takes a spoonful of the soup and shoves it into his mouth before he can say something stupid like 'did you know I love you, Lan Zhan?' or 'please stop being so kind, I'll wear out my welcome so much faster this way.'
Instead, he swallows over the lump and the soup, smiling around another spoonful and waiting until the ache in his throat has vanished before he speaks.]
It's really good. Thank you. I...I love it.
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Mn. Good. Eat slowly, do not worry about finishing the whole bowl, only what you can.
[ He swallows down the words crowding on his tongue, _do not worry, I am here and I love you,_ stands and then settles with his own tea next to Wei Ying on the couch. This is as close as he normally gets and he scolds himself for wishing they were back in bed, entwined together. ]
I have medication for when you are finished.
[ He fumbles a little now, comfortable in the silence and scraping of the spoon, but knows Wei Ying typically is not. ]
Do you wish to watch anything while you eat? Or are you too tired?
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When he has finished readjusting, he peers at Lan Zhan with a tilt of his head, cheeks lightly flushed but smile unrepentant.]
For the cold. [He returns to his soup and takes several more spoonfuls before answering the question.]
I couldn't focus on watching anything right now. [His eyes twinkle when he focuses them on his friend, one eyebrow lifting in a tease.] Is this your way of trying to get me not to speak while we eat?
[It isn't, he knows. Lan Zhan has long given up that fight, but it's too fun to tease.]
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Lan Zhan does not initiate physical contact, if only because he worries that if he does he will never stop, revealing far too much before he knows it will be well received. He cannot stop himself from gently tipping his head so it rests on Wei Ying's while he eats the soup with contented little hums. ]
Mn. [ He scoffs at the idea. ] Would not silence Wei Ying, only concerned you would be bored.
[ He straightens, the allotted time he allows himself to be so close has passed. He takes a sip of his tea, then gently pushes Wei Ying upright so he can put the arm closest along the back of the couch. He softly tips Wei Ying back into his side, making it more comfortable for both of them. ]
If you feel tired, you can sleep. I will be here.
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No more sleeping. [He grouses, brow furrowing and then softening again in resignation.] At least not yet.
I'm gross. [It's a whine and he sighs, pouting.] After food, I'd like to shower. I can...if I sit, it'll be fine. [Probably.]
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Okay, I will keep you awake.
[ He sips his tea and tries to memorise how close they are, the warmth pressed to his side. Then Wei Ying continues and truly tests his many years honed straight face. ]
Mn. Showering will be beneficial.
[ Yes... That is an appropriate response. He then actually mulls over the problem. ]
If you wish I can help you?
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Um. [He hopes the flush on his cheeks is mistaken for fever. Actually, it probably is from the fever at least a little.]
I could probably use some help with my hair...are you sure you don't mind? That's a lot of work, Lan Zhan. You don't have to spoil me so much. [Even if he did offer, it feels like taking advantage to accept.]
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Mn. I offered, I meant it. I am happy to help.
[ He half smiles at the idea that Wei Ying is not already spoiled, but it is his secret ambition to make sure Wei Ying stays that way. He deserves the world and Lan Zhan would give it to him just to see him smile. ]
It is not spoiling, you are sick. You deserve to be treated well. When you are done we can come back to the sofa or go to bed with the laptop.
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He gets distracted by Lan Zhan's response a moment later, huffing quietly and shaking his head, a gentle smile on his lips.]
I'll sound like a broken record but you really are too good to me, you know that? [He finishes eating in companionable silence and then sets his bowl aside. On a good day, he would take the dishes to the sink knowing that if he left them unattended, Lan Zhan was liable to clean them for him, but today he lets that battle go, acquiescing to his illness. With his food and tea finished, he reluctantly pulls away from Lan Zhan, cringing at the way his formerly fever humid skin wants to stick to Lan Zhan and rising on shaky feet.
Now that he's lucid enough to pay attention, he really does feel in desperate need of a wash. He hadn't had the energy to wash his hair in...a while, and he's sure he'd had fever sweats off and on over the last day or so.
Still the thought of taking a shower sounds exhausting and he resigns himself to needing Lan Zhan's help. Although, he's not exactly sure what that entails and he immediately rejects the images his terrible traitor brain wants to conjure.]
Uh, if you're really sure, I'm gonna go grab a towel and stuff and you can meet me in the bathroom.
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Hm. I am just as good to you as you are to me. [ His ears are a little pink, but he is steadfast. If Wei Ying insists that he is worth it then he will return the favour. When Wei Ying finishes his dinner, Lan Zhan is slightly smug to see he hasn't left any of it, he needs all the strength he can get. A tiny part of him itches to immediately deposit them in the kitchen, but it is drowned out by the louder part of him whining about being apart from Wei Ying as he stands. Even if it is only a few feet.
Wei Ying sways only a little when he stands, so Lan Zhan rises behind him but does not hold him up. He wants Wei Ying to feel as self sufficient and un-suffocated as possible, but in the safest way, so hovering a little it is.
Wei Ying pauses as he wobbles and despite the hair stuck to his brow, the crumpled clothes and the faint smell of sweat, he is still resplendent in Lan Zhan's eyes. When Wei Ying agrees to his offer, Lan Zhan is surprised but committed. He offered and will follow through. ]
Understood, I will see you there.
[ He watches Wei Ying toddle away, and rushes over to the bathroom. He grabs a clean towel for himself as he is sure to need it, even if he wasn't intending on getting in the shower. He then has a small crisis about how to wash Wei Ying and be polite at the same time. How can he not intrude on Wei Ying's privacy is no small matter, so he turns on the shower to let it warm up and whips out his phone; frantically googling for any possible solution.
Ignoring the rather odd porn suggestions he comes across an idea. He cannot execute it in full, as he does have all the equipment but...
By the time Wei Ying returns, Lan Zhan is standing next to the shower with some very nice new shower gel and conditioner, clad only in some tight fitting black boxer briefs. He looks up at the door opening, somehow maintaining a poker face as he speaks.]
Wei Ying. The water is to temperature, I will turn away while you get in.
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Ah, thanks. [He discards his shirt, and after only a moment of hesitancy, his pants and briefs as well, as he focuses very carefully on not thinking about being naked in front of Lan Zhan. It's not weird unless he makes it weird and he is determined not to make it weird.
He only wobbles a little as he steps inside of the shower, immediately sighing in relief as the warm but not too hot water runs over his skin.]
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He turns back and follows, eyes resolutely kept on the side of Wei Ying's head. He steps into the water behind him, catching only a little of the spray as he draws the curtain.
He doesn't want to overstep, but he reaches forward and tugs Wei Ying so his back rests at least a little on his chest. ]
In case you get dizzy, please lean on me.
[ Lan Zhan adjusts the head of the shower and makes sure to wet Wei Ying's hair, covering his face from the water and then uses the closest hand to grab the shampoo, reaching around Wei Ying to lather it in his palms. ]
Tell me if I pull.
[ He massages the shampoo into soft bubbles and makes sure to cover every inch, then tips Wei Ying's head forward for the rinse. He's managed to not stare at anything, especially as Wei Ying is still too warm to the touch. He starts again with the conditioner, trying to be gentle but thorough. ]
Are you able to wash yourself or do you need assistance?
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Lan Zhan is in the shower with him. Lan Zhan is (presumably) wet. He's wet and he's in the shower with him and he can feel his chest (yep, wet, it's definitely wet) against his back and it would be so easy for Wei Ying to press back, so easy for Lan Zhan to push forward, all slick wet skin and strong muscle, it would be nothing for him to hold Wei Ying against the shower wall, to lick along his shoulder and bite into his neck and—
Oh fuck, he's getting hard.
Lan Zhan said something again, and this time the words aren't completely subsumed by his (fevered) horny panic. 'Do you need assistance?'
Letting out a soft strangled sound, he's quick to shake his head, noting the way it makes Lan Zhan's hands still tangled in his hair tug lightly at his scalp. (He's going to die.) With a gargantuan effort, he forces himself to think of Auntie Yu glaring at him, and Lan Zhan's uncle glaring at him, and both of them glaring at him at the same time (oh wow, that's way too effective, that needs to never ever happen.) Somehow, he gets himself under control.]
N-no, I can do that part! [The words come out too high pitched and he laughs, nervous, stepping forward because he's going to die if their skin keeps pressing together.
Only, he's maybe not as okay as he thought because the moment he loses Lan Zhan's support, a wave of dizziness crashes over him, stripping all other thought and coherence away as he feels himself falling, legs giving out after having been standing for longer than he's stood in two days. Oh...oh that's...not good.]
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Well. Up until he makes a noise that startles Lan Zhan out of his stupor and starts wiggling his head like a ball and spring on a car dashboard. When he speaks it's very obvious he is very tired and sick, sounding raspy and high pitched. Then Wei Ying takes a step forward and the cold rushes in where his body was for a split second, before he visible crumples and starts tipping over like a felled tree. ]
Wei Ying!
[ Lan Zhan does not shout, but it's close. He frantically drops the bottle of shower gel he was about to offer and dives, scooping him back into his arms as best as he can. The shower is not designed for this kind of horseplay and they both slip further down until Lan Zhan gets a good grip on the shower tap. They pause there for a moment, tangled together like a pair of headphones in a jean pocket.
Wei Ying has fallen most of the way onto his knees, pressed to Lan Zhan's chest who has wrapped an arm under one armpit and around with the grip of a very angry octopus. Lan Zhan has refused to let them fall by landing in a weird kneel, one knee banged into the floor so hard it tingles and the other leg in front, pressed to Wei Ying's side with the foot wedged into the corner up against the tile. The hand on the shower tap is the only reason no one fell out and got a concussion or another head injury. ]
Wei Ying?
[ Lan Zhan repeats himself, but softer, adrenaline calming down to a manageable whirr and not a fire siren screaming to save Wei Ying. ]
Don't move, let me help you?
[ He isn't really asking as he gives in to the urge to wrap even more firmly around Wei Ying and lift him bodily off the floor as they rise. He manages to brace himself upright and ease Wei Ying into the crook of one elbow, risking the hand pressed to the shower to check his temperature.]
You are very warm, we will get you dressed.
[ He checks he has rinsed all the stuff out of Wei Ying's hair and then turns off the shower, stepping into the cooler bathroom. He plonks Wei Ying down on the toilet and wraps him in the biggest, fluffiest towel and keeps a hand near Wei Ying's shoulder should he start to list.
Once wrapped, Lan Zhan looks Wei Ying up and down, noting the flush and the shivering, the head tilting between listening for whatever Lan Zhan has to say. He makes the executive decision to scoop the now only damp Wei Ying into his bedroom.
He starts gathering clean clothes from strange places, such as his clean laundry dictates so he is used to small shivering wet things that won't even bark back. Like this Wei Ying is... small.]
Let me help you dress.
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