singlelogbridge | Inbox: Ximilia

[Kazuma certainly won't argue that point. It's then that his drink arrives, which he's grateful for; it gives him something to do with his hands.]

Yes, but if you hadn't, then...

[He inhales, exhales; breathes out the dark branches that claw his throat when he remembers Jake accusing him of wanting to kill. He clenches his hands around the glass so that he doesn't form a fist. It's a good a time as any to actually take a drink.

(He's surprised to find Wei Wuxian made a good choice. The discovery is a slight improvement to his mood, at least.)]

The point is, it sounds like you did everyone a service.

[His expression lightens and he dips his head in an accepting nod.]

Let's just hope he received the message then. [Because if there's a next time, it probably will come down to Itachi having to hold him back from doing something that might get him removed from the ship.

He frowns again, annoyed at the thought of Felix at all.] Such a fucking coward, going after Finn.

[Kazuma frowns into his glass.]

...Men like him usually are.

[Manipulators, that is; it's always the vulnerable that they target. That's a thought that threatens to send his mind down a dark path indeed, so he tries to pivot elsewhere instead.]

In a way, you still did me a personal favor. [He smirks, though there's a mean edge to it.] He's the one who stole my watch.

[That gets Wei Wuxian's attention.]

Aiya, that man? And to think you were feeling guilty! [He lets out a loud laugh and then frowns playfully at Kazuma.]

I can't believe you got to hit him and I didn't!

[Kazuma can't help but laugh as he raises his glass to his lips. If he's honest, it had been pretty satisfying. There is something about that has been nagging at him, though.]

...Maybe I should have said something at the time.

[Would people have known to be warier of him? Would Felix have had more eyes on him before this happened?]

Hmmm. [He lets out a casual hum and shakes his head.]

It wouldn't have changed anything. Knowing he was a jerk might have given some of us pause in spending time with him, but it certainly wouldn't have given any of us insight into the levels he would sink to. [And there were others on board who'd been cruel in the name of reaching their goals. It simply wasn't enough to give them any real clue of what the man was like.

He shakes his head and offers Kazuma a gentle smile.]

You couldn't have known. This isn't on you. This is only on him.

[Kazuma breathes out slowly. He knows this already, of course, but it doesn't do much to reassure him.]

Yes, you're right. I suppose... I'm just frustrated with my own powerlessness.

[Then he shakes his head and grins at Wei Wuxian in turn.]

Look at you, always taking the time to reassure me. Are you like that with everyone, or am I simply that depressing?

[It's a frustration Wei Wuxian knows well despite everything. It always seemed that even with all he'd done trying to protect the ones he loved, in the end when he wasn't directly bringing them harm, he was powerless to stop harm from coming to them. But that's much too depressing of a thought for company, so.

This at least is easy. This is familiar territory.]

That depressing! Haven't you ever considered that perhaps I simply can't resist trying to ease the sorrows of a handsome man?

[Kazuma pauses, caught off guard, his glass hovering near his mouth.

There had been a flirtatious current beneath their previous conversations that Kazuma had been happy to pretend was accidental, but now Wei Wuxian has gone and made it overt. The only problem is that now Kazuma has to decide how to respond to it.

There's no reason not to, is the thing. Wei Wuxian is an attractive man himself, and he has been both considerate and self-possessed in a way that Kazuma appreciates. He's easy to talk to and seems to be able to improve Kazuma's mood near effortlessly. Kazuma finds he already likes Wei Wuxian quite a bit, despite their limited interactions. But...

There isn't a but. There's nowhere for his feelings for Ryunosuke to go. Even if he reciprocates, there are countless reasons why entering a relationship would be a bad idea. There's nothing to be disloyal to, and thus no reason to turn Wei Wuxian down except to make himself miserable. And isn't he supposed to be trying to punish himself less?

There's no guarantee Wei Wuxian meant anything serious by it anyhow. No harm in playing along. So Kazuma finishes his drink and keeps his tone light and his expression humorous, even as he can feel a flush creeping up his neck.]

So all this time you've had an ulterior motive? I'm hurt.

[Wei Wuxian grins, delighted that Kazuma is playing along. His expression brightens and he takes another long sip of his drink before setting it back down.]

Hey, hey! I am innocent. Just because I can appreciate a pretty face doesn't mean I would ever offer kindness with an ulterior motive in mind! [It's absolutely true but he winks like it isn't because he flirts like breathing and sometimes he can't help himself.

It's fun, alright, and he's always up for a bit of fun.]

Unless! [He fixes Kazuma with a searching glance.] That appreciation isn't welcome. Or if you're already attached! I'm an honest man, Asogi-xiong.

[Kazuma's own grin spreads, in spite of himself. Now that he's letting himself respond, he can admit to himself that Wei Wuxian is... pretty cute, actually. Someone he might have gone for regardless, in other circumstances. Silly and chatty and with a good sense of humor, able to disarm you without even trying. Kind. Surprisingly perceptive. Not unlike Ryunosuke--

Oh, no. He's cutting himself off right there.]

Neither. [Which is true, and yet he has to shove down a twinge of guilt anyway.] Not in the sense you mean, at least. It's just that usually I'm the forward one.

Oh? [He asks, a hint of interest. His own experience is...minimal, if not so nonexistent as it was before, but all of it has been mutually pursued. Fumbled experimental kisses in the dark when he was a teenager, and significantly less fumbled kisses with Mal on board the Ximilia.

He's never been the object of someone else's pursuit and he thinks it might be fun to be on that side of things. (He thinks inexplicably of what it feels like when Itachi's heavy gaze rests solely on him, unflinching, and then he quickly dismisses the errant thought.)]

Well now I'd like to see how that goes for you. Come on, show me your best work!

Edited 2023-04-30 07:25 (UTC)

[This startles a laugh out of him before he can stop it.]

Are you asking me to proposition you?

[Not that he's opposed. He's just double checking.]

[Oh. His cheeks flush with just a hint of pink and he laughs a little nervously, wrinkling his nose. Is he? Is that what's he asking?] Aiyah, I just want to hear your usual lines!

[Which now that he thinks about it is kind of asking that, isn't he?]

Is that what you usually do? Proposition people? [He sounds very interested in the answer.]

Edited 2023-04-30 07:41 (UTC)

[Kazuma goes quiet as he considers Wei Wuxian's question. Truth be told, he doesn't have much experience himself, mostly for lack of interest--for ten years he'd been driven by a purpose that didn't allow much room for more frivolous pursuits like romance. There had been encounters, sure: awkward experimentation with fellow schoolboys, a discreet fling on occasion at university with those students who had reciprocated some interest or who had approached him first, curious about a rumor that Kazuma was like that. All over with quickly and never spoken of again--nothing that meant anything, or lasted, or involved tenderness. Very little of it even involved words. And, most likely, none of it would have happened if Kazuma hadn't been the one to cross that final line.

He'd never felt a connection with any of them, really, nor felt any desire to. Not with anyone. Not until--]

Certainly not in public.

[Kazuma raises his eyebrows pointedly. The flirtatious note is still there, and honestly Kazuma is the last person to care much about public opinion in these matters, but it's an easy way to backpedal out of this hole that Kazuma now realizes he's dug himself into.]

Or at least... not without another drink.

[Wei Wuxian lets out a snort at that, seemingly regaining his bearings a little. He pauses for a moment as he considers Kazuma's words and then clears his throat, feeling he needs to clarify before things go any further.]

I'm not looking for anything more than a little fun, Asogi-xiong. I don't want to mislead you. [The words are gentle and probing, his voice soft. He's pretty sure they're on the same page about this, but he needs to be completely sure.]

I'd understand if you would prefer to keep this to two new friends sharing drinks. [He smiles meaningfully at the glasses in front of them, and then his gaze returns to Kazuma, continuing to search him for a reaction.]

[Kazuma takes a moment to really look at Wei Wuxian, really think about it.

Wei Wuxian is an attractive man. Kazuma could use the distraction. They've both established interest. He really has no reason to say no. Except--

He doesn't want to think about except. He doesn't want to give shape to the strange ache in his chest, he wants to stop wallowing in misery and have fun for fucking once. And if there's one thing he's good at, it's ignoring his better judgment and plowing ahead, so he smiles at Wei Wuxian in a way he hopes reads more attractively confident than embarrassingly cocky. It's a fine line he walks sometimes.]

Well, then. I hate to invite myself over, [he doesn't sound sorry] but we'll have to go to yours. It's... getting a little crowded at my place.

[There is a decent chance Strange will have already set up camp in the bathroom by the time they get back there. Mood killer.]

[It's Wei Wuxian's turn to pause, his eyes growing a little wide and his cheeks taking on a soft pink flush. In truth, he'd been aiming to flirt and hadn't really considered much more than that, let alone the thought of leaving and heading to somewhere private. (Just the thought makes his flush spread.) It occurs to him that he may have accidentally mislead Kazuma with what he'd meant by a little fun and he clears his throat, pushing some hair away from his face and trying to will back the blush staining his cheeks.]

Ah, I. [He pauses to take another drink, if for no other reason than to give himself some time to think.] Maybe we finish our drinks and go for a walk first?

[Which will hopefully give him enough time to figure out how to communicate that he isn't interested in sex. He has literally never done this before. Who knew it was so complicated?]

[Kazuma is a little surprised by Wei Wuxian's bashfulness, not having expected it from the turn the conversation has taken, though it isn't in a bad way--actually, he's kicking himself for finding it a little endearing--it just means he may have to adjust his expectations to something a bit less exciting. (Probably a good idea, anyway; less messy, in multiple senses of the word.)

He hides his smile behind his drink, tilting it up as he finishes it off.]

Of course. Whatever suits you will suit me just fine. [His tone is reassuring without drawing too much attention to it. Wei Wuxian can set whatever boundaries he likes.]

[Wei Wuxian offers him another friendly smile and then throws back the rest of his drink to help calm his nerves. It's far too weak to get him drunk, but it'll still dull the nervous edge inside of him.

The idea of messing around with Asogi-xiong isn't an unpleasant one exactly, but casual hookups are still a new experience for him. It's not like it didn't happen even among his sect brothers and sisters back home, but for him flirting had been it. He and Huaisang had messed around all of those years ago, but that had been innocent and more about self-discovery than anything else. Maybe if the war hadn't come things would have been different. Maybe his charming flirtation with a beautiful woman might have led to something more than just an exchange of words.

(There is a soft ache in his chest at the thought of home in conjunction with sex and romance, and he allows himself to think fleetingly of Lan Zhan, if only for a moment. He knows that even without the war nothing would have ever come of them, and his feelings for Lan Zhan aren't what they were, but that doesn't mean he'll ever not think of him as a person he'd once given his heart to.)

He does have some experience with casual though, doesn't he? More recently there's been Mal, and though he shared a deep friendship with the man, there was nothing more to them in spite of the things they'd done together. That's what Asogi-xiong is getting at, isn't it? No strings attached mutual fun. It's what he had taken Wei Wuxian's words to mean.

And at the very least, it would mean not feeling so alone for a while. (The ache of Gwen's loss is still such a tangible thing, and Itachi's absence due to their staggered arrivals stings all the more for it.) He angles himself towards Asogi-xiong and offers him a curious smile.]

Thank you, Asogi-xiong. [Feeling bolstered by the time to think it through, he continues to smile at his companion and lifts his now empty glass to show him.]

I'm ready anytime then.

[It doesn't take long for them to find a discreet alleyway with no passersby to speak of, but it's by happenstance in the end. As he was in the bar, Wei Wuxian on their walk is a good conversationalist; easy to flirt with, fun to tease and be teased by. Kazuma finds himself forgetting their supposed task entirely until an empty side street presents itself at the next corner and he practically interrupts himself pointing it out.

He's tipsy enough that he feels almost giddy as they duck into the corner, heart pounding like they're a couple of schoolboys sneaking around between classes, more interested in getting off than their studies. There's no need to feel like they're breaking any rules here, but it's just part of the game now. Kazuma is firm but not forceful as he uses momentum to guide Wei Wuxian against the alley wall, landing with his hands framing Wei Wuxian's face. His touch is feather-light, his fingertips barely making contact with skin; Wei Wuxian has leeway to escape if he wants.

He smiles, feeling suddenly unsure.]

What was it you said earlier? Something about showing you my best work?

[...That sounds embarrassing the moment it comes out of his mouth, but he can't take it back now. His only recourse is to keep a straight face.]

[Wei Wuxian laughs, but it's at his own expense not Kazuma's. That really was a cheesy thing he'd said, wasn't it? His cheeks flush pink and he lifts a hand to tangle around Kazuma's shirt and tug him forward a bit, not pulling him flush, but close.]

Mmmhmm, something like that. [His eyes glimmer with humor and he leans in, closing the distance between them with a soft exploratory kiss before pulling back just enough to speak.]

But if you're just gonna keep talking, I can show you mine instead.

Inbox: Ximilia

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damn almost made it to the 2 month anniversary of the last tag 💍

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