Inbox: Ximilia

[singlelogbridge]

// Wei Wuxian

TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO

XIMILIA

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[asymbiotic]

[He sits on the ground, feeling worn out by the conversation.]

But what if it isn't enough? What if being a good person means that you can't save her?

[singlelogbridge]

[I can't save her even if I do fix it he doesn't say. What does it matter if he creates some parallel reality where she's safe? It doesn't mean it didn't happen. There is no changing the past, not truly.

But even if he could...]

Then I'll learn to accept it. [Not live with it because he can't, but acceptance at least he could manage while he was here.]

And I'll know I didn't give her reason to be disappointed in me. [Not anymore than he already had.]

[asymbiotic]

I know they'd be disappointed in me. [He says, and his hands grab uselessly at the front of his own shirt, like that's going to stop the aching emptiness in his chest, the echoing silence in the back of his head.]

But I can't accept it. Not when I can finally do something to change it. I don't know how you could.

[singlelogbridge]

You don't have to know. We don't have to be the same, do we? [He stands then, rising to his feet and padding over to Chuuta to set a hand on one shoulder.]

So from now on you can tell me when you need help with your goal. You're not in this alone, Chuuta.

I only have one condition. If you're going to betray or harm me, no one else can get hurt.

[asymbiotic]

[He flinches at the hand on his shoulder, but doesn't pull away.]

I hope I don't have to hurt anyone again. I was really worried they were all going to be like that.

But if you're okay with it, I won't hurt anyone else.

[singlelogbridge]

They aren't all like that. [He says quietly.]

Sometimes they're ridiculous. Singing and dancing...and sometimes they force you to do something you don't want to but that won't hurt anyone. And sometimes they can be cheated, even if they do involve hurting. [His hand drops away and he exhales softly, relieved.]

I'm okay with it, we have a deal.

There are a lot of people who offer to help with tough goals like that too. I was told to punch someone who didn't deserve it once, and Doctor McCoy volunteered. [A beat.] And then he made fun of my punch because I held back. You know what I did then?

[asymbiotic]

Did you punch him again? [Chuuta says, a little bit wryly. He wouldn't, but he can think of several people who would.]

[singlelogbridge]

[His lips pull up into a half smirk.]

He called my punch weak! He was bullying me! [The smile softens again but the lightened mood stays with him.]

He wasn't mad. I think he knew exactly what he was doing. My point is that people here will help if you ask for it.

[asymbiotic]

[That does finally get a smile out of Chuuta, just a little one.]

Thank you. Do you need any help with your goal this time?

[singlelogbridge]

Me? Ah...hm.. No, I'm alright, it's nothing like any of those terrible ones. [He smiles at Chuuta but does not specify what his goal is.]

Anyway, are you feeling any better? If you'd like, you can come with me to find the right material to craft your new flute, hmm?

[asymbiotic]

I have to make a flute? [Questions of if he's actually feeling better or not can be shoved aside, the more important thing is that apparently he actually has to make his own flute?]

[singlelogbridge]

[That gets a laugh out of him and he nudges Chuuta in the shoulder, gesturing for him to follow.]

Where exactly did you expect me to pull another flute from? Come on, come on, let's just hope we can find something close to bamboo here! If you're very nice to me, I won't even make you carve it yourself.