[ The night following his argument with Wei Wuxian, if it can be called that, finds Lan Wangji troubled, restless, a weight on his chest pressing him down as he struggles to fall asleep. Time passes slowly as he lays on his cot, listening to the breathing of the rest of the new arrivals around him, the quiet chatter of a pair of people in the corner. This is ridiculous: time is a consistent measure that does not pass either slowly or quickly, and to think it passes slowly is just a reflection on the disorganized state of his mind.
One of the Lan sect rules dictates when disciples should sleep and rise, and Lan Wangji has followed that faithfully for most of his life. But there have been days when he's not gone to bed at nine. Days when he woke up well before five. Days he can't sleep at all. War and the nature of cultivation made sure of that. But since healing from his injuries, once he was able to sit up again and fever-exhaustion didn't keep him in bed, he had fallen back into the routine of sleeping at nine and waking at five and kept that up since his arrival in Llave. Sleeplessness is even rarer than not sleeping at the dictated time. Meditation and a firm resolve have kept insomnia at bay for the most part, even if worries troubled his mind.
It's not that he's never experienced it, and the cause of his insomnia is one that has plagued him before: Wei Wuxian. And like the rest of the times he's had trouble sleeping because of Wei Wuxian, he doesn't know how to solve the problem. Two options war in his chest, and neither of them is good. Tell Wei Wuxian about the Wen remnants or keep silent and let the chasm between them continue to grow when all he wants is to help?
After two hours of trying to sleep, he rises from his cot and seeks out one of the empty rooms, sinking into the lotus position to meditate again. It's better than attempting to sleep and not finding it, even if it's more of a struggle than usual, even if it's difficult to find that space inside his head. Focusing on the warmth of his golden core helps, the familiar energy flowing through his meridians. Not enough, not when his real problem lies not in his head or body but in solving the tension in another, but by the time he rises out of the lotus position with the same grace he does everything else, he knows what to do.
He finds a piece of paper and a pen, missing the familiar weight of a brush and the ritual of grinding an inkstone and letting his thoughts settle before he starts writing. But this has to do, for now.
He writes out, a-Yuan is safe and well, in good hands, using the character for Yuan he'd picked when he'd handed over the child to his brother. He knows his words are true: Yuan is safe with his brother, who will protect him with the same care he protected Lan Wangji.
That done, he returns to the main room, searching for Wei Wuxian's cot, and approaches on silent feet. Hoping Wei Wuxian is asleep, he reaches the side of his cot, bending to slide the note under his pillow. ]
following their fight
One of the Lan sect rules dictates when disciples should sleep and rise, and Lan Wangji has followed that faithfully for most of his life. But there have been days when he's not gone to bed at nine. Days when he woke up well before five. Days he can't sleep at all. War and the nature of cultivation made sure of that. But since healing from his injuries, once he was able to sit up again and fever-exhaustion didn't keep him in bed, he had fallen back into the routine of sleeping at nine and waking at five and kept that up since his arrival in Llave. Sleeplessness is even rarer than not sleeping at the dictated time. Meditation and a firm resolve have kept insomnia at bay for the most part, even if worries troubled his mind.
It's not that he's never experienced it, and the cause of his insomnia is one that has plagued him before: Wei Wuxian. And like the rest of the times he's had trouble sleeping because of Wei Wuxian, he doesn't know how to solve the problem. Two options war in his chest, and neither of them is good. Tell Wei Wuxian about the Wen remnants or keep silent and let the chasm between them continue to grow when all he wants is to help?
After two hours of trying to sleep, he rises from his cot and seeks out one of the empty rooms, sinking into the lotus position to meditate again. It's better than attempting to sleep and not finding it, even if it's more of a struggle than usual, even if it's difficult to find that space inside his head. Focusing on the warmth of his golden core helps, the familiar energy flowing through his meridians. Not enough, not when his real problem lies not in his head or body but in solving the tension in another, but by the time he rises out of the lotus position with the same grace he does everything else, he knows what to do.
He finds a piece of paper and a pen, missing the familiar weight of a brush and the ritual of grinding an inkstone and letting his thoughts settle before he starts writing. But this has to do, for now.
He writes out, a-Yuan is safe and well, in good hands, using the character for Yuan he'd picked when he'd handed over the child to his brother. He knows his words are true: Yuan is safe with his brother, who will protect him with the same care he protected Lan Wangji.
That done, he returns to the main room, searching for Wei Wuxian's cot, and approaches on silent feet. Hoping Wei Wuxian is asleep, he reaches the side of his cot, bending to slide the note under his pillow. ]